Okay if I haven't told you before how mental my family is, then let me tell you this little tale and I am sure you will need no further convincing. I rang the sister this morning and she told me a story about sweet niece that mortified me. Seems sister was in bed the other night snoring like a man (as usual) and about four in the morning she was woken by pathetic whining coming from the back yard. So she arose from her slumber, wiped the spittle from her mouth and plodded out to investigate. Said sister saw the family dog with his nose pushed up against the backyard fence looking out longingly towards the park, then sister noticed sweet nieces dog, {who is really a horse}was missing!
So sister goes inside to awaken sweet niece from slumber and inform her that horsedog is missing. Guess what? Sweet niece was missing. So okay the plot thickens. Sister then goes and looks over the fence to see sweet niece and horsedog hiding in some bushes stalking dickhead delinquents ,who apparently had thrown a brick in thier pool and were knocking on the laundry door, just basically behaving like the teenage dickheads that they are. So dickhead delinquents then see sweet niece and horsedog hiding ,and make a break for it. By this time the whole family is awake and sweet niece and horsedog return home to their loving family. Does she go back to bed? NO.
So sister goes inside to awaken sweet niece from slumber and inform her that horsedog is missing. Guess what? Sweet niece was missing. So okay the plot thickens. Sister then goes and looks over the fence to see sweet niece and horsedog hiding in some bushes stalking dickhead delinquents ,who apparently had thrown a brick in thier pool and were knocking on the laundry door, just basically behaving like the teenage dickheads that they are. So dickhead delinquents then see sweet niece and horsedog hiding ,and make a break for it. By this time the whole family is awake and sweet niece and horsedog return home to their loving family. Does she go back to bed? NO.
Sweet niece then grabs 11 year old nephew to be her skinny sidekick!WHY? So she jumps into her superhero four wheel drive with horsedog, skinny sidekick and turns into..............Wait for it..................REVENGEWOMAN.
Skinny sidekick tells sister later on that revengewoman sits behind the wheel of her superhero four wheel drive muttering "we are going to get those fuckers" CHARMING. She then proceeds to drive up on to the embankment onto the grass of the park turn on her high beam, {which shall now be known as super ray light weapon}and proceeds to try and run them over!!!!! Poor skinny sidekick must have been terrified. And dickhead delinquents apparently went screaming off into the blackness of night. Bet they never bother sweet niece again. Anyone in need of a hit man, I may just have the woman for you?
Skinny sidekick tells sister later on that revengewoman sits behind the wheel of her superhero four wheel drive muttering "we are going to get those fuckers" CHARMING. She then proceeds to drive up on to the embankment onto the grass of the park turn on her high beam, {which shall now be known as super ray light weapon}and proceeds to try and run them over!!!!! Poor skinny sidekick must have been terrified. And dickhead delinquents apparently went screaming off into the blackness of night. Bet they never bother sweet niece again. Anyone in need of a hit man, I may just have the woman for you?
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