DAMIEN THE OMEN RAT

Have you ever had one of your greatest fears come true? Well I did this weekend and I am proud to say I have survived. My cousin, her husband and I decided to go along and see my son perform in one of his shows, so we preened ourselves (because of course, everyone in the place would be looking at us) and prepared for a night out. As well as going to see one of the greatest singers in the country (my boy) entertain everyone, I was looking forward to seeing the stunned expressions on people's faces when I dazzled them with my new hairstyle. Of course I knew how great I looked but I needed to share it with everbody else.
As we all left the house and headed out through the garage her lovely hubby turned to me and says "the light in here is not working and watch out for the rat". THE RAT.
Oh my god, panic set in and I started to sweat, my nerve endings felt like they were on fire and I heard my brain saying to me in a loud voice "Run for your life". One of my biggest fears are these creatures of the devil, these furry little animals from the depths of hell.
The lovely hubby then starts to giggle devishly and informs me he is having a joke, that there was a rat but being the he-man that he is, the rat has been disposed of. Oh the relief, I could stop holding my breath, and nightmare visions of the evil rat eating my feet as I tiptoed across the dark garage slowly disappeared. And so we all climb in the car with hubby in the back seat where hubbies belong and merrily go on our way.
The show is fantastic and after I have dazzled everyone with my golden locks and flawless face it is time to put hubby in the back seat and go home. We all sit and chat for a while over coffee when we arrive home and after a while cousin and lovely hubby retire upstairs to their marital bed and I settle down with the laptop to write illuminating stuff on my space and send messages to my friends around the globe, AND THEN............I see something out of the corner of my pretty blue eyes !! Ir can't be true.........I can't bear to look but I know I have to, IT'S MY NIGHTMARE COME TRUE...............the evil one is here in my presence and he is gazing at me with hungry eyes, it's a rat !!!!!!
Cousin and lovely hubby are sound asleep, there is no one to save me, what am I to do? I jump on the chair quicker than an olympic pole vaulter and try to scream, but no sound comes out. The evil one disappears underneath the lounge and I cover my eyes in terror, then I jump off the chair and run faster than I have run in twenty years and hide myself in the toilet. I know I can't stay in here all night, I do consider making myself comfortable on the toilet seat for the night but it's bloody cold and I don't want cousin or lovely hubby to find me frozen and terrified on their good porcelain first thing in the morning. And so I weigh up my options, I can't stay in here so I run back to the chair and stand on it in utter fear while scanning the room for the furry one. I can't see him. Is he in hiding waiting for me to turn my back and then he will launch himself at me and chew on my ankles? All of a sudden I have a realisation, the door to the guest bedroom is open and Damien the Omen rat might be in there. By this time it's 2 on the morning and I am very tired, but do I brave the bedroom and try and get some sleep, NO I do not. I sit on that chair for the next three hours to bloody terrified to move !! Do you believe it? By three thirty in the morning my backside is in agony, I am certain I am going to develop variciose veins in my bum because the blood supply has been cut off. I keep nodding off in between talking to myself, every five minutes I find myself muttering "I am going to have a heart attack"
After four hours of panic attacks and numb bum I finally give in to exhaustion and brave the bedroom, but before I go to sleep I say my prayers and stuff anyrhing within reach underneath the door because I know that Damien The Omen rat is out there looking for fresh meat. When I finally awaken at one thirty in the afternoon the next day and face cousin and the lovely hubby they look at me with concern, apparentley they thought I might be dead because I hadn't awoken earloer and blessed them with my presence. When I tell them why there are clothes stuffed underneath their guestroom door and why I have arisen half way through the day they find it very amusing. I am so glad I have brightened up their day !! But I am very impressed with my valour, I braved a night of terror and survived. Yes folks I have lived to tell the tale of Damian The Omen Rat and with any luck the ratsack that has been served to him for his last meal will do it's work and he will return to the depth's of hell from whence he came.