I'M GOING TO BURN YOUR DRESS !!!

I realise that in today's politically correct world we are supposed to deal with children in an intelligent understanding manner. But sometimes, just sometimes, I slip back in to prehistoric mode and let loose and say things (on second thought make that scream things) that will probably leave permanent scars.I spent yesterday looking after my five year old niece and now I think I need two weeks in a rest home. Yes my friends, this tiny little scrap of a person got the better of me. She looks so lovely and then she opens her mouth and the charade is over. As long as she goes through life with her mouth shut she will do just fine. I actually think the family is all going to put their hands in their pocket's so we can hire an exorcist for this dear little demon from hell.

I swear this child takes speed before very meal. She can outrun me,outshout me and comes up with more one liners than Billy Connolly. I try so hard to be a good Aunt who spends quality time doing crafts and educational pastimes with her, but I gave up when she painted the dog and stapled the cat. I just looked my poor animals in the eye with a knowing look that said "yes, I do think it's time for a priest".

I even went out and brought this child of satan a fairy outfit with a wand, wings and a halo of flowers, and she pranced around in it all day while hitting other children with the wand and trying to cast wicked spells on the family. Everything I asked her to do was met with crossed arms and a loud NO. The tantrums were so frequent and so disturbing by the end of the day the panadol supply had run out (for me not her). Drugs, you'd need a whole pharmacy to cope with this kid.

Finally my hours of torture were over and it was time for bed, but do you think she would take the fairy dress off? Of course not. I tried asking nicely, I tried blackmail, I tried begging on my knees and ending up with no dignity whatsoever finally.....I'm ashamed to admit......I lost it.I screamed in full operatic voice 'I'M GOING TO BURN YOUR DRESS".There was stunned silence from everyone. My mother was appalled and my son was rolling around on the lounge in hysterics because he couldn't believe I had threatened a five year old, and my niece, well she just looked at me with a grin on her face and said "get lost".And so Isobelle (who shall now be known as Regan) went to bed with a smile on her little face and her fairy dress intact and I got out the "good parenting" book.

I HEAR HIM STILL

I have just spent the afternoon watching The Phantom of The Opera. For others this may well be just another movie but for me, it brings tears to my eyes.I hear the music and it brings back the most wonderful memories of my life. Years ago my mother was sitting at her piano and manged to get my little boy to sing her a song. Some time after she came to me and said "you have to take him along to singing lessons, he has a beautiful voice". So along we went to the first of many lessons. This shy little roly poly boy had the voice of an angel that entranced everyone who heard it.I remember the pride I felt when he first sang in front of an audience. He was so scared and thier was an audience of about 800 people, but out he came, a little boy of nine in the middle of a huge stage, he opened his mouth and sang "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" in his soprano voice and the whole room went silent. I was so happy for him. For years he had been make a target by the "popular" kids at school, and made to feel like he was nothing. Well he was something, he outshone them all.

It was the start of many performances, many awards and years of me sitting in the audience knowing that this gentle boy was something special. And then came "Phantom". I took him along to see the show and it sank into his soul. He constantly listened to the soundtrack and learned every song. He sang the songs at home all the time, and eventually was confident enough to try them in fornt of an audience. I wish more than anything you could all have heard him sing "Music Of The Night". He didn't need the props, he didn't need a mask, he just stood on that stage and commanded everyone's attention. It was the most wonderful thing I had ever heard, and Evan never knew that every time he sang it I would be in my seat with tears in my eyes. I can still hear him singing that song.As you all probably know, Evan is now the singer of a jazz band "The Velvet Set", and they are fantastic. He is professional, polished and confident in his singing, but the memory of that dear little roly poly boy is so precious to me.I hope that if as I get older and loose my memory, if everything else vanishes from my mind, the sound and vision of Evan singing "Music Of The Night" is the very last memory I have, and I will probably still fill up at the thought of it.

YOU CAN'T CURE WHAT ISN'T A DISEASE

This morning I awoke to another sleazy message from yet another penis obsessed male of the species. What possesses these cave men to write suggestive messages to women they haven't even seen ? Oh wait...I know the answer to that one, the brain that lives in thier trousers.Fucking idiots !!! And men think women are dumb!!!I am no oil painting but I wouldn't lower myself to proposition a man, because to me life is not just about getting my rocks off. If it was then these morons would have come out of thier mother's womb as an 8 pound penis with legs and arms. I value myself far to much to EVER want to get to know these pathetic scrotums.And so after blocking this fool that probably writes these messages with the end of his dick, I sat down to watch a bit of Dr Phil. Know what the subject was?A wife and husband who are on the brink of divorce because of his sex addiction. This piece of filth that she married went on to explain his "addiction". He exposes himself on public streets, he has sex with other men and then goes home and sleeps with his wife, he has arranged many, many sexual liasons with strange women over the years, and a lot of the sex was quite perverse. Then this disgusting loser goes on to say he made a porn clip in his little girl's bedroom !!He buys porn every day, watches porn every chance he can get, his whole existance revolves around the little pink thing in his pants. While explaining all the things he has done behind his wife's back he kept referring to himself as two people like this...."when my addiction was picking up men for oral sex"......"when my addiction was exposing himself". Bullshit I say. I don't believe for a minute people do anything depraved or illicit unless they want to. Everybody has a bloody excuse for unacceptable behaviour now, it is never their fault, it's thier addiction. Who teaches men that this is the way to behave? Why do they think that sex is everything, and everything else pales in comparison? I have no sympathy for him and his so called "disease". He is not under the influence of drugs when he makes his sicko movies, he is not drunk when he exposes his pathetic little member to others, he is not brain damaged and I don't believe in sex addiction.What I do believe is that there are a lot of bleeding hearts who these cretins take advantage of, what I do believe is that our morals have declined so much we make excuses for unacceptable behaviour, what I do believe is that men like these are perverts and nothing else.You know who the dumb women are? The idiots that stay with these dirtbags because "I LOVE HIM".